Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
