He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
