I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
