I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
