East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
