So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
