It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
