found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
