No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
