I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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