dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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