just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
