dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
