I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
