Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
