The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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