My hand turned me down
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I intend to get homeless drunk
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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