i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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