Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
