yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize