Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
