I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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