I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
