my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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