I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
