haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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