is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
