If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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