we have officially lost it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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