I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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