I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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