pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
