Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
