In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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