You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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