The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
