He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
