i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
