I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
