...so i touched it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
