Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
