i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
