I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it was like eating out sand paper
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
