Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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