just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
