Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if only i could text you this smell
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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