I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
