the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
