If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
