2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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