SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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