dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
