come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
