Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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