this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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